Couldn’t Wait For My Boyfriend To Come Back From Work

"I've seen this movie a hundred God damned times and it never ends well. This is the point where you hit me up for a donation to help you create a time machine or some shit to save the world right?" No Daddy," she smiled. "I already have that." You have a time machine?" I asked."Of course," she said. "Well, it's not really a time machine. It's an iPhone app."I looked at her like she was crazy. "They still have iPhones forty years into the future?" I asked."Daddy, ever since the 50th president back in 2036 it was decided that since corporations have all of the legal status and rights of individuals that a corporation should be able to run for president. Apple became president in 2040 and ever since then, every US citizen is issued an iPhone implant at birth. Anyway, the time machine app is, of course, illegal and you have to jailbreak your iPhone to install it. Jakey invented it. That's part of the problem and it's also why you're the only one who can fix this." Tina, if you are my. It was my locker that I was now scoping the halls for.After a long search (there appeared to be no rhyme or reason to the locker numbers, they were scattered in groups all over the school), I finally located it. I continued to exchange hellos with strangers I'd never laid eyes on. I wondered if they'd heard about my little lightning encounter; I suspected it had long since made the rounds. I opened the lock with no problem, and threw my belongings inside. Home base was now secured, so to speak.I still had twenty minutes before class started. My first period was, of all things, a required religious education class. Room 202, I said to myself. I guess that must be on the second floor?By now, the hall was full of arriving students. And here's where the questioning started. They began to swarm around me in front of my locker."Hey, dude," one guy asked curiously. "Did you really get zapped by lightning?" Look! It's Patrick O'Malley, the Human Lightning Rod!" another joker chortled."You.
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